TV's April Fools

Beavis and Butthead

Mr. Van Driessen: I'm going to close my eyes, and I want you to wow me.

Butt-head: Is that allowed on school property?

Check out the episode "Late Night with Butthead" on Beavis and Butthead: Mike Judge The Collection: Vol 1 (2006)

Every Metallica and AC/DC t-shirt-wearing wasted-on-caffeine-and-sugar teen with a part-time job at Burger World needs a sympathetic hippy teacher like Highland High’s Mr Van Driessen. He encourages Beavis and Butt-head to express themselves and record their own version of the “Late Show with David Letterman” in the school’s audio-visual lab. Watch out for Beavis as Paul Shaffer (Letterman’s house band-leading sidekick) copping a missile in the eye as Butt-head’s attempt to copy Letterman’s bouncing pencil shtick goes awry.

Dale Gribble

'Is that all you think I kill is bugs? I killed eight gophers last year and a purebred Tennessee walking horse that was looking at me funny.'

Check out the episode "Dog Dale Afternoon" on King of the Hill-Season 3 - Disc 4 (1999)

Hank Hill isn’t happy when he spots his ride-on lawn mower, commandeered by his insect exterminating conspiracy theorist neighbour Dale, heading for the local burger joint drive-thru. When the machine is returned filled with lemonade instead of petrol, Hank bans Dale’s borrowing privileges. This forces Dale to buy his own high-tech mower. Still seeking revenge, Hank, with the help of Bill and Boomhauer, steals an already paranoid Dale’s new pride and joy, leaving a ransom note that includes a photo of a Lee Harvey Oswald look-alike aboard the mower. Later, while spraying bugs in a tower as part of his job, it is assumed by his friends that the mower theft has sent Dale over the edge and he is about to embark on his own Charles Whitmanesque University of Texas Tower killing spree.

George Costanza

'It was not trash! It wasn't down in, it was sort of on top. Above the rim. It was on a magazine! And it still had the doily on. One little bite. But I know who took the bite. It was her aunt.'

Check out the episode "The Subway" on Seinfeld-Season 6 - Disc 1 (1990)

Boasting about having designed an extension to New York’s Guggenheim museum; flirting with women whilst wearing Kramer’s dad’s wedding ring; claiming to be “O’Brien” to scam a limo ride from the airport, only to learn “O’Brien” is a neo-Nazi; pretending to be a successful Wall Street trader only to be conned by a woman who took his suit and his $8, leaving him handcuffed to a hotel bed in just his underpants; Costanza’s Law - ‘It's not a lie, if you believe it’. In this episode, George’s girlfriend Lindsay’s mother catches him chowing down on a chocolate éclair, already with a bite taken out of it, that he ‘rescued’ from the kitchen bin. When she later sees him cleaning coffee off a stranger’s windscreen, she assumes he really is a hobo, testing Jerry’s theory that George always gets on better with the girlfriend’s mum than the girl.

Herman Munster

'Herman tried to build a ship inside a bottle. We had to break the bottle to get him out - Lily Munster'

Check out the episode If a Martian answers, hang up" on The Munsters - Season 1 - Disc 3 (1964)

More naively childlike than idiotic, Herman Munster is prone to the odd tantrum. It normally sees him jumping up and down on the spot causing the whole of 1313 Mockingbird Lane to shake, and plaster to start sifting down from the ceiling. Herman loves nothing better than mucking around on his ham radio in Grandpa’s lab/dungeon. Herman’s innocence sees him taken in by two neighbourhood kids he hears over the airwaves pretending to be Martians, and is further deceived when one of their Dads turns up claiming to be the head Martian about to blow up Earth. Look out for a cameo from The Helosian from 60s show “The Outer Limits”; a bonafide member of the TV Sci-fi Hall of Fame.

Australia's 'royalty'

'I have the right plumbing' (Kate the pig farmer on why she'd make a good "Australian Princess")

Check out Australian Princess-Season 2 - Disc 1 (2006)

Inspired by Taswegian Mary Donaldson snaring herself a Danish prince at Sydney’s "Slip Inn" during the 2000 Olympics, the premise of this show is to take twelve ‘ordinary’ Australian girls and turn them into a princess fit for an (alleged) Majorcan prince – “Dynasty’s” Prince Michael of Moldavia must have been unavailable. Candidates include a spray tan specialist, a pig farming “EastEnders” fan, and a Goth with a fear of geese. All this is presided over by Paul Burrell, the man who was not only Princess Di’s butler, but went on to eat a kangaroo’s testicle while participating in the British reality show “I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!”. Watch for contestant Kylie Booby get her Fergie’s mixed up as she confides to guest judge Jane Ferguson (sibling of Prince Andrew’s ex Sarah) that she once saw Jane’s sister in concert singing for "The Black Eyed Peas"

Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie – 'Bring out your dead'

Paris: The casket is about to fall!

Nicole: Oh! I thought you saw like an arm fall out.

Check out the episode "Mortuary" on The Simple Life 3: Interns - Disc 1 (2005)

The first season of ‘The Simple Life” was a take on the 60s seachangecom "Green Acres", as Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie swapped their luxurious city existence for life down on the farm. By series three the girls are working their way along the American East Coast, taking on a different trade apprenticeship each episode. After saving Nicole’s Pomeranian dog Foxy Cleopatra from a host family’s marauding cat the previous week, this ep sees the duo working at the Kohler Funeral Home in New Jersey. When they almost drop the coffin while trying to conduct a mock funeral, decide for yourself if the ‘cremated ashes’ they spill on the floor and vacuum up are real - or the mixture of kitty litter and cement the funeral home owner later claimed they were.

Al Bundy – dog killer

'You shot my dog in the middle of a bowel movement?' – Steve Rhoades

Check out the episode But I Didn't Shoot the Deputy" on Married with Children-Season 1 - Disc 1 (1987)

Is it the Bundy curse that resigns all married Bundy men to a life of selling shoes and sitting on a couch watching TV with one hand down the front of their pants? There’s a burglar on the loose in the Chicago suburbs; neighbours the Rhoades get a guard dog for protection, while Al Bundy goes for a gun. Al thinks the hound’s incessant barking is it trying to alert him to an intruder. Investigating, he shoots what he presumes is a pouncing robber – only trouble is the ‘robber’ is in fact the Rhoades’ dog that was relieving itself on wife Peg’s begonias. In the aftermath, Marcy Rhoades, searching in vain for her dog, is told by Al, "Well he's out in my yard! You can't miss him... I didn't. "

Dr Zachary Smith

(to Robot) 'Silence you ninny. Silence, you mental midget. Now come along with me, you ludicrous lump.’

Check out the episode "His Majesty Smith" on Lost In Space-Season 1 - Disc 7 (1965)

He was only aboard the Jupiter 2 mission in the first place because his attempts to sabotage the take-off failed. In this futuristic sci-fi take on the classic "Swiss Family Robinson" tale, Dr Smith is responsible for ‘shipwrecking’ the crew on their way to Alpha Centauri. Whether it’s falling for the matriarch of a hillbilly-in-space clan, or thinking a three toed monster is the spirit of his Uncle Thaddeus, Smith’s ego always leads to trouble. In this episode, he is honoured to be crowned king of an alien land, only to discover this race 'sacrifice' their leaders. 'Oh, the pain, the pain. We're doomed! Doomed!'

Gareth Keenan

'Will there ever be a boy born that can swim faster than a shark?'

Check out episode 2 of The Office, The-Series 1 (2002)

Gareth is very precious about things like his job title ("Assistant Regional Manager", not "Assistant to the Regional Manager" as David Brent puts it) and his stapler (which co-worker Tim is always setting in jelly). Gareth is always bragging about the military skills he acquired in the Territorial Army, so David sets him the task of investigating who has sent out an email containing a photo with Brent’s face photoshopped onto the body of a nude woman. When Gareth declares Tim is the culprit, is Gareth just seeking revenge for his jellied staplers?

Jonas Grumby (The Skipper)

'A monkey!? What's he doing in Gilligan's clothes!? It's Voodoo! They've changed Gilligan into a monkey!'

Check out the episode "Voodoo Something to Me" on Gilligan's Island-Season 1 - Disc 1 (1964)

The castaways' distress flare supply is disappearing. Gilligan goes missing in search of the thief. The Skipper suggests voodoo is somehow responsible. Now hang on a minute; isn’t Gilligan meant to be the stupid one on the Isle? Sure, he once beat Mr Howell to win a three million dollar putting competition (of course the golf clubs were made out of, yep, bamboo!), but he was also the one who somehow managed to get fused to a bowling ball when struck by lightning, and catch a sea mine left over from World War 2 when he went fishing. So why is it in this episode when a monkey appears from the bushes wearing Gilligan’s clothes, The Skipper puts it down to some Shaman using trickery to turn Gilligan into a monkey, rather than seeing the beast as the thief it really is?