The Love Guru (2008)

The Love Guru
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Director: Marco Schnabel
Actors: Mike Myers, Justin Timberlake, Jessica Alba, Romany Malco, Meagan Good, Verne Troyer, John Oliver

In the comedy, The Love Guru (Mike Myers), Pitka is an American who was left at the gates of an ashram in India as a child and raised by gurus. He moves back to the US to seek fame and fortune in the world of self-help and spirituality. His unorthodox methods are put to the test when he must settle a rift between Toronto Maple Leafs star hockey player Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco) and his estranged wife. After the split, Roanoke's wife starts dating LA Kings star Jacques Grande (Justin Timberlake) out of revenge, sending her husband into a major professional skid - to the horror of the teams' owner Jane Bullard (Jessica Alba) and Coach Cherkov (Verne Troyer). Pitka must return the couple to marital nirvana and get Roanoke back on his game so the team can break the 40-year-old "Bullard Curse" and win the Stanley Cup.

DVD
Status: QuickPick
Run time: 86mins
Origin: UNITED STATES
Aspect Ratio: 16:9
No love lost
by Simon Miraudo,

Has it really been 11 years since Austin Powers first hit cinemas? Wow. I love the Austin Powers series. I love Wayne's World 1 & 2 even more than that. After the third Austin Powers film came out, Mike Myers seemed pretty content to just be Shrek for a while. But here he is, six years later, as his brand new character Guru Pitka, a spiritual leader in the vein of Deepak Chopra. Except he's not actually Indian, but in fact Canadian. Oh, and although he claims to be The Love Guru, he is a selfish, fame-hungry virgin who gives bad advice and makes worse jokes. And he might just be the worst character in the history of film, ever. I had pretty low expectations for The Love Guru, and I was still disappointed. In fact, disappointed is in no way an appropriate term for criticising this film. Wh...

Has it really been 11 years since Austin Powers first hit cinemas? Wow. I love the Austin Powers series. I love Wayne's World 1 & 2 even more than that. After the third Austin Powers film came out, Mike Myers seemed pretty content to just be Shrek for a while. But here he is, six years later, as his brand new character Guru Pitka, a spiritual leader in the vein of Deepak Chopra. Except he's not actually Indian, but in fact Canadian. Oh, and although he claims to be The Love Guru, he is a selfish, fame-hungry virgin who gives bad advice and makes worse jokes. And he might just be the worst character in the history of film, ever.

I had pretty low expectations for The Love Guru, and I was still disappointed. In fact, disappointed is in no way an appropriate term for criticising this film. What kind of words can be used on a film so awful, that no-one involved is redeemable from its suckiness. Even Kanye West, who has a 3-second cameo. I don't know if I can ever listen to his music again without picturing Guru Pitka's stupid face. A movie so bad, that it makes Verne Troyer's sex tape a more enjoyable watch. And a story so awful, so awfully executed, and so awfully concluded, you have to wonder who in the world gave Myers $62 million to make it.

The "Story": Pitka spends his day dreaming of appearing on Oprah, plotting to usurp Deepak Chopra from his position as #1 guru, and spouting off countless mantras to his (presumed idiot) masses (i.e. Intimacy - Into Me I See. Ugh). Jessica Alba plays Jane Bullard, owner of the Toronto Maple Leaves hockey team, who hires Pitka to reunite washed up star Darren Roanoke (Malco) with his ex, who has shacked up with Jacques Grande (Timberlake), goalie for the LA Kings.

So that's a pretty bad story line, and a film based on that should be bad enough, right? Wrong. It's much, much worse. At least 70% of the film has no interest in Roanoke and his ex-wife, and instead we have to see Myers woo Alba, who is such a bad actress, that not even her hotness can make her worth watching. We are also treated to countless scenes of Justin Timberlake as an incredibly endowed Quebecoise imbecile. It is not funny. Neither is Myers constantly turning to camera and winking or giggling or doing something that just makes us want to slap that dumb smile off his face. The Love Guru is so bad, it almost makes love itself seem stupid.

I hated every character in this film. I didn't want this film to have a happy ending, because none of these characters deserve love, or money, or fame, or even a movie documenting their existence, no matter if they're made up or not. The movie was nonsensical. Scenes ended uncomfortably, as if the big punch line was cut in the editing. This can only make me think - what in the world was cut out?! For instance, how does a 5-minute (!) sequence about food that looks like genitals not get trimmed slightly? How could they allow Myers to perform no less than 3 full songs on the sitar? How bad must the stuff they cut out be? What instructions was the editor given? "Be sure to cut the end of that scene. We need to get this film under 90 minutes. But leave in the two elephants doing it, that's gonna kill!"

Who would've thought that Mike Myers could actually do WORSE than The Cat in the Hat. He's gone from one of the most beloved comic actors of the last twenty years, to sub-Norbit levels of lameness. At one point in the film, Pitka flicks around radio stations until he finally lands on Bohemian Rhapsody, channeling the classic moment from Wayne's World. He quickly changes the channel to something else, looking awkward and embarrassed. It's probably the only time during the film he shouldn't look awkward and embarrassed. But if I created The Love Guru, I'd be pretty embarrassed too.

0.5/5

Check out Simon's other reviews here.

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Member Reviews (36)

so very funny from a person who has lived with a guru in India
Posted Saturday, 19 April 2014 See my other reviews
Pam Edwards
says
Thoroughly enjoyed this movie. Mike Myers was at his best. A witty and very entertaining movie. I am now a fan of Mike Myers and intend to take out more of his movies.
Posted Tuesday, 21 September 2010 See my other reviews
chris
says
funny but not up to his others
Posted Saturday, 29 May 2010 See my other reviews
Sasha
says
very funny
Posted Friday, 29 January 2010 See my other reviews
Rachael W.
says
Funniest catchphrases. Look out for the whizz mop!
Posted Tuesday, 20 October 2009 See my other reviews
Sue N.
says
OK, so there were a few flat spots, but generally it was a really funny movie - and I loved that Deepak Chopra and Mariska Hargitay were actually in it. Go on - get the popcorn and have a laugh!
Posted Thursday, 15 October 2009 See my other reviews
Barry
says
How did Myers get so many big stars in this movie? Not as bad as all the bad reviews, but nothing compared to Austin Powers. A few chuckles and I enjoyed mini-mes office scene but overall not a fanstastic movie. If you love Myers, you might find it bearable.
Posted Tuesday, 29 September 2009 See my other reviews
Edward M.
says
Possibly not the worst film this year but one of the worst films of all time. I think Mike was just out to make a quick buck thinking that his past movies would carry him through, because he spent nothing on talent with this rot.
Posted Sunday, 6 September 2009 See my other reviews
Kristine
says
We heard that this movie was bagged quite a bit but we loved it.
Posted Thursday, 27 August 2009 See my other reviews
Kirstie M.
says
ok quite a few belly laughs quite good
Posted Monday, 10 August 2009 See my other reviews
Bridget
says
Usual silly childish jokes from Mike Meyers. Nice plot not gory or too gross. Worth watching.
Posted Friday, 17 July 2009 See my other reviews
Louise
says
If you're a Mike Myers fan you will love it!
Posted Monday, 29 June 2009 See my other reviews
Chris P.
says
Unfortunately, not Mike Meyer's best effort.
Posted Thursday, 23 April 2009 See my other reviews
Sandra B.
says
Rather nutty - more like an upbeat Bollywood movie. Still was fun to watch.
Posted Tuesday, 21 April 2009 See my other reviews
detkirsty
says
I didn't even add this movie to my queue, it was sent to us by mistake. Definately not a movie I would even think of watching but thought we'd have a look anyway. What an absolute waste of time! Only watched about 20mins, couldn't stand another second. I was embarrassed for the actors. Don't bother with this movie, my 3yr old son has DVD's that I would rate 10x better.
Posted Tuesday, 14 April 2009 See my other reviews
curls
says
a very funny movie , not in the austin powers class , but still managed to get some big laughs. Mike Myers is a vey clever guy
Posted Thursday, 9 April 2009 See my other reviews
Anita L.
says
I love Mike Myers in Wayne's World
Posted Monday, 6 April 2009 See my other reviews
Katie W.
says
So the trailers definitely made this movie out to be funnier than it was, having said that I'll admit I didn't even watch the whole thing. Turned it off after 20 mins cos I couldn't be bothered trying to hold on to the end. I guess you have to be in the right sort of mood for this one...
Posted Sunday, 29 March 2009 See my other reviews
Michelle
says
Found this to be quite a fun evening in - perhaps not the most enthralling storyline - but some good humourful moments!
Posted Thursday, 19 March 2009 See my other reviews
Paul S.
says
As much as I like laugh out loud funny moments, there just wasn't enough of them. A movie like this HAS to be funny because there isn't anything else going for it. Unless you're a big Mike Myers fan, I'd give it a miss. Hardly the worst film of the year, but is it worth watching? I'd say it's a borderline film.
Posted Friday, 6 March 2009 See my other reviews
Debbie
says
Not that good, could have been better
Posted Monday, 2 March 2009 See my other reviews
Vikki B.
says
What was Mike Myers thinking making this movie ? Terrible. Don't bother.
Posted Tuesday, 24 February 2009 See my other reviews
Nina A.
says
Mike Myers is normally on par lol but this is lame-o. Not worthy at all :(
Posted Sunday, 22 February 2009 See my other reviews
Kylie C.
says
I don't see why everyone was slamming this, i thought it was quite funny - maybe because i wasn't expecting anything good i thought it was above average?
Posted Wednesday, 21 January 2009 See my other reviews
Evie
says
I really enjoyed this movie. Not your classic love story and the ice hockey scenes were spectacular especially when you realise that Romany Malco did his own stunts. The music was fun - I especially loved the duet between Mike and Manu Narayan (Rajneesh), More than Words, enough to search out the sheet music. Obviously it????????s Mike Myers and there????????s plenty of quite basic humour, fortunately not as gross or silly as his Austin Powers movies. Poking fun at the self-help scene was nicely done without being too disrespectful and I was very impressed that Deepak Chopra was tempted into a cameo role. It????????s well worth watching the special features too.
Posted Tuesday, 20 January 2009 See my other reviews
Michelle
says
This movie is so bad, not one single laugh, Mike Myers should be ashamed of himself
Posted Sunday, 18 January 2009 See my other reviews
Sean D.
says
Seen better from Mike. It was almost like an Indian version of Austin Powers. Not his best work in my opinion but still some funny moments to get by.
Posted Friday, 16 January 2009 See my other reviews
Peter W.
says
Typical Mike Myers comedy. Which you either love or hate. I found this movie to be very watchable. Some very funny moments and some jokes to cringe at, but that's the whole point of this type of comedy. I got no idea why people bag it so much. It's similar comedy to Austin Powers with all the sex jokes, etc. Sure it's not film of the year, but it's definitely not worse film of the year by a long way. It's worth adding to your list if you like Mike Myers comedy. Solid 3 stars from me :).
Posted Wednesday, 14 January 2009 See my other reviews
The Duke
says
I really didn't mind this movie. Yes it's silly, ridiculous, stupid and over the top but it's meant to be. There are plenty of laugh out loud moments and if you are in the mood for an easy to watch comedy, to switch off from your thoughts for a while then give this a go. In my opinion nowhere near as bad as the other reviews make out.
Posted Wednesday, 7 January 2009 See my other reviews
Matthew B.
says
Oh God with all the talent in this film you got to wonder a) why they signed on to do it and b) why the laughs are so few and far between with way too much cringing in the middle!
Posted Saturday, 3 January 2009 See my other reviews
ka-tet
says
Whilst not the five star quality of Austin Powers, it passes the most important test of comedy, it made me happy the whole time I was watching it.
Posted Thursday, 1 January 2009 See my other reviews
Amour S.
says
Some parts were clever but on the whole I would not recommend it. A great array of actors and actresses but it did not make a difference. It may have been a fun movie for them to make but not to watch. Although Justin Timberlake and Verne Troyer were convincing. I think Mike Myers needs therapy ... from Deepak himself!
Posted Wednesday, 24 December 2008 See my other reviews
Sunet N.
says
One word: STUPID
Posted Monday, 15 December 2008 See my other reviews
Scott T.
says
This is quite possibly the stupidest and most pathetic movie ever made. it's very sad because I loved the Austin Power's trilogy and even Wayne's World. Forget it!!!
Posted Wednesday, 10 December 2008 See my other reviews
Okto F.
says
Mariska Hagirtay!!!
Posted Monday, 1 December 2008 See my other reviews
Rory A.
says
Apparently it is a contender for the worst film of the year. Keep that in mind when thinking about this one. Do you want to laugh or groan?
Posted Thursday, 10 July 2008 See my other reviews