Battleship (2012)

Battleship
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Science fiction violence

Director: Peter Berg
Actors: Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, Liam Neeson, Brooklyn Decker, Jesse Plemons, Peter MacNicol, Tadanobu Asano, Hamish Linklater

Peter Berg (Hancock) produces and directs Battleship, an epic action-adventure that unfolds across the seas, in the skies and over land as our planet fights for survival against a superior force. Based on Hasbro’s classic naval combat game, Battleship stars Taylor Kitsch as Hopper, a Naval officer assigned to the USS John Paul Jones; Brooklyn Decker as Sam, a physical therapist and Hopper’s fiancée; Alexander Skarsgård as Hopper’s older brother, Commanding Officer Stone of the USS Samson; Rihanna as Lt. Raikes, Hopper’s crewmate and a weapons specialist on the USS John Paul Jones, and international superstar Liam Neeson as Hopper and Stone’s superior (and Sam’s father), Admiral Shane.

DVD
Status: QuickPick
Run time: 131mins
Origin: UNITED STATES
Aspect Ratio: 16:9
Audio Formats: English Dolby Digital 5.1
Subtitles:
Board to death
by Simon Miraudo,

Blockbusters, ho! With the American summer sailing ever closer, audiences are bracing themselves for the inevitable onslaught of big-budget features that have made the period so highly anticipated (and feared). Though March releases John Carter and The Hunger Games threatened to kick off proceedings early, they failed; John Carter by not being successful, and The Hunger Games by being significantly smarter than the season's traditional fare. So welcome aboard Peter Berg's Battleship, a suitably brain-dead and super silly action flick based on a classic - but notably plot-free - board game. Weather wise, things are cooling down in Australia rather than heating up; still, the Hawaiian-set Battleship sure feels like summer to me. Now, don't read that as an endorsement of the latest motion pi...

Blockbusters, ho! With the American summer sailing ever closer, audiences are bracing themselves for the inevitable onslaught of big-budget features that have made the period so highly anticipated (and feared). Though March releases John Carter and The Hunger Games threatened to kick off proceedings early, they failed; John Carter by not being successful, and The Hunger Games by being significantly smarter than the season's traditional fare. So welcome aboard Peter Berg's Battleship, a suitably brain-dead and super silly action flick based on a classic - but notably plot-free - board game. Weather wise, things are cooling down in Australia rather than heating up; still, the Hawaiian-set Battleship sure feels like summer to me.

Now, don't read that as an endorsement of the latest motion picture from Hasbro, Inc. Battleship is an early contender for "eye-rollingest film of the year," such is its unrelenting dumbness and occasional, jarring, unearned seriousness. Although Berg's directorial fingerprints can be spotted here and there (it would be impossible for a Michael Mann disciple like he to leave no trace at all), Battleship bears a striking resemblance to Michael Bay's Transformers series, implying that the true author of all these pictures is the toy company behind them. Hasbro's track record in the cinematical arts is not great, but they should be applauded for their tireless efforts to find work for supermodels. They deserve to be movie stars too, guys.

John Carter himself, Taylor Kitsch, plays Alex Hopper, a loose cannon with a criminal past who has to be dragged kicking and screaming into adulthood by his brother, naval officer Stone (Alexander Skarsgård). Big bro believes a stint in the Navy will help him man-up, and for the most part, it does. It also affords Alex the opportunity to get close to Samantha (Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover girl Brooklyn Decker), daughter of Admiral Shane (Liam Neeson, in little more than a cameo). Before Alex can ask the Admiral for his daughter's hand in marriage, he gets into a bust-up with a Japanese captain (Tadanobu Asano) in town for the annual war games. The affable rogue is threatened with a dishonourable discharge, and he'll need to prove himself in spectacular fashion if he wants to keep his place in the fleet. Luckily, depending on how you look at it, aliens crash-land in the very location being trafficked by their ships and begin an assault against the human race. Hopper takes the initiative and leads a bunch of sea-dogs (including Rihanna and Jesse Plemons) against the invaders in an effort to restore his reputation, and, incidentally, save the world.

The special effects are impressive, but they have the Transformian quality of looking expensive and sounding loud without actually depicting anything with clarity. Ironically, the aspect of the project that has been so emphatically mocked since its announcement - the board game connection - is what works best. The scenes in which the crew of the USS John Paul Jones use radar to predict where their enemy might be laying in wait, and bombing them accordingly (with a helpful checkerboard to assist), are the most thrilling by far. However, too much action is of the Alien and The Terminator variety, with the interplanetary intruders stalking the ship's corridors in a manner that is nowhere near as threatening as in those aforementioned sci-fi classics. I don't even want to talk about the hunk of time spent on a nearby island in which Samantha, a former officer with bionic legs (real life double amputee Lt. Col. Gregory D. Gadson), and a computer geek (Hamish Linklater) team up to take out a satellite and keep the ETs from "phoning home." It ain't fun to watch.

And perhaps that is Battleship's biggest crime. Hollywood offers up plenty of easy-to-swallow confectionery, which is absolutely appreciated, provided it's also entertaining. Berg's latest doesn't have much of a sense of discovery when it comes to its alien visitors, and the supposedly high-adrenaline battle sequences feel perfunctory rather than exhilarating. Its scope is fairly limited too. We're told the universe is at risk, but we spend a lot of time watching concerned people Skype in to conference calls instead of witnessing intergalactic mayhem.

Berg and Kitsch previously collaborated on the TV show Friday Night Lights, and it's clear Berg knows how to best use his star. Kitsch gets to be more charming and cheeky here than he ever did in Carter. That doesn't mean Taylor doesn't have to recite the inane lines from Jon and Erich Hoeber's screenplay, sadly. More than halfway through proceedings, once nations have been bombarded with extra-terrestrial force and multiple ships have indeed sunk and after the ragtag officers have come face to face with their aggressive enemies, Hooper remarks: "I've got a bad feeling about this." Perception is not his strongest suit.

2/5

Check out Simon's other reviews here.

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Member Reviews (83)

esceneay
says
Now I have a new movie to add to my deadly 60. In deadly I mean deadly boring and an hour of my life I will never get back. I would rather play the game battleship than watch this movie. It was so bad I couldn't even finish watching it nor could my son and he is not that fussy.
Posted Saturday, 30 August 2014 See my other reviews
The best thing about this movie was Taylor Kitsch.
Posted Friday, 28 February 2014 See my other reviews
Ray Page
says
I really enjoyed this movie it was like a WWII naval battle between aliens and mankind. The action signs were very good and there was plenty of action.
Posted Monday, 20 January 2014 See my other reviews
Javier
says
Not bad: it prevented me from sleeping in the plane last year. Forgetting about the storyline? Not. The Coen brothers and Sofia Coppola are still the masters at it. This is just plain old entertainment and probably the reason why Rihanna now favours ultra-short hair. Enjoy!
Posted Thursday, 26 December 2013 See my other reviews
Bobsco
says
Someone had too much time in the c g studio & forgot about the soryline.
Posted Tuesday, 12 November 2013 See my other reviews
Kaz
says
Good movie although predictable at times
Posted Saturday, 6 July 2013 See my other reviews
pretty bad
Posted Wednesday, 15 May 2013 See my other reviews
Robyn
says
Really enjoyed this movie. Well worth watching.
Posted Tuesday, 23 April 2013 See my other reviews
Fantastic
Posted Thursday, 18 April 2013 See my other reviews
Don't waste your time watching it
Posted Thursday, 4 April 2013 See my other reviews
Awesome movie, you just never know whats out there.
Posted Tuesday, 19 March 2013 See my other reviews
Olivia
says
Entertaining action packed movie. Recommend this movie to anyone who enjoy SCI movie
Posted Friday, 15 March 2013 See my other reviews
Maureen
says
Great movie. Main character a bit of a rogue; differently 'out there', good ending though.
Posted Tuesday, 12 March 2013 See my other reviews
peppa
says
It always surprises me that despite the fact that I expect an over zealous Americanised film, the film is so bad that I regret wasting my precious life watching it. The unorginality, predictabilty and poor script is astonishing. If you'e going to use computerised scene, at least direct your actors to pretend that they are remotely effected by the massive explosion and wave that is surrounding them. We have seen it all before - don't bore us with it again!
Posted Sunday, 10 March 2013 See my other reviews
First movie I can remember where I turned it off before the finish. Just a ridiculous plot with a severe lack of talented actors and any meaningful action. Cannot believe Liam Neeson agreed to appear in this movie, especially with "actors" like Rhianna involved. After struggling through almost two hours of this c**p the last straw was when the old soldiers were recruited to man the museum Battleship for the final battle. Only good thing about this movie were the effects which were quite impressive. Lucky to get one star.....
Posted Saturday, 9 March 2013 See my other reviews
Ray
says
Good movie.....Great to see "Mighty Moe" kick a#^e at the end
Posted Saturday, 2 March 2013 See my other reviews
jenetta
says
a bit over the top but a great film. lots of action. great ending. slow to start though. way too slow to get into it.
Posted Saturday, 2 March 2013 See my other reviews
Hughbow
says
A little slow to start but once the action started a great earth vs the aliens movie.
Posted Monday, 11 February 2013 See my other reviews
Phillip
says
Once you get past the first half hour or so ,the special effects make it an entertaining movie .
Posted Thursday, 31 January 2013 See my other reviews
andrew
says
this is epically awesome and I had a good laugh it was the best movie I ever seen yet
Posted Sunday, 27 January 2013 See my other reviews
Ray Morrison
says
Absolutely breathtaking! Action a plenty in this epic action movie
Posted Wednesday, 23 January 2013 See my other reviews
Joseph
says
I actually hired this movie with John Carter and was surprised that Taylor Kitsch was in both movies, which is cool, he's watchable as an actor. I enjoyed this, the Transformer-esque special fx and explosions made it a lot of fun as long as you didn't go in expecting an awesome plot. After all it's based on a board game, you know...
Posted Tuesday, 15 January 2013 See my other reviews
margaret
says
An ok movie but nothing special.
Posted Tuesday, 15 January 2013 See my other reviews
jackieandken
says
This movie is very exciting, with extraordinary digital special effects. A present day somewhat unlikely science fiction story, much better than we expected. Very enjoyable, and fast moving.
Posted Saturday, 12 January 2013 See my other reviews
movielover2012
says
another disappointment. expected a lot from the advertisement. the alien look like all the other movies. the ship look nothing surprising. really average love story as well. just dull from start to finish. *yawn*
Posted Friday, 28 December 2012 See my other reviews
sue
says
This was a great film to watch, unexpected, had to see twice
Posted Saturday, 22 December 2012 See my other reviews
jack
says
Good special effects and some great action sequences although it's nothing like the board game which is a good thing
Posted Thursday, 20 December 2012 See my other reviews
Stuart
says
This is exactly what you expect it to be - an American action movie where the "screw-up" comes good and gets the girl in the end after saving the world (or has he? watch for the twist after the credits). Was good to see the Australian's saved the old ship in the end
Posted Tuesday, 11 December 2012 See my other reviews
KDSJ
says
I know this got panned at the cinema, but I really enjoyed it. It’s your usual big blockbuster with a bad boy becomes hero by defeating aliens storyline. Had great special effects and hit all the right notes - disabled soldier does something heroic, coward geek does something heroic, hard core female sailor does something heroic, old veterans do something heroic, etc etc. And all kudos for actually introducing the game Battleship into the storyline. Well worth a watch.
Posted Friday, 7 December 2012 See my other reviews
Kaye
says
A bit over the top but enjoyed it.
Posted Wednesday, 5 December 2012 See my other reviews
Major plot holes, total US bulls..t. Only the US can make such a ridiculous grandiosity. The end with the veterans ... Made me laugh. Don't worry US movie it is, happy end there is.
Posted Saturday, 17 November 2012 See my other reviews
Liz C
says
My 3 word review - Big, Stupid, Fun. I'm unashamed to say I liked this movie. Cornball and predictable as it was. Peter Berg kept it moving right along and it never once got bogged down. Yeah you have to disengage brain but what's wrong with that once in a while. Great effects, characters you cared a bit about, quite a few laughs, oh and old geeza's saving the day. As I said before, it's big, it's stupid and it's fun. Hire now:)
Posted Thursday, 15 November 2012 See my other reviews
henny
says
one top movie full of action
Posted Wednesday, 14 November 2012 See my other reviews
D.M.
says
Lots of great characters that the director was skillful at personalising to a filmgoing audience, a really exciting story and loads of special FX. Maybe the moral of the story is - there's enough problems right here on planet E without asking for more trouble and spending mega bucks on hardware to make outerspace contact with more technologically advanced beings on far flung planets! haha Really enjoyed it, a feel-good time. Wouldn't mind seeing it again.
Posted Friday, 2 November 2012 See my other reviews
I dont mind this moving. If you want a bit of action with a bit of a story its ideal. Good Sunday afternoon or Friday night let the brain chill movie. Quiet enjoyed it.
Posted Wednesday, 24 October 2012 See my other reviews
very entertaining...great stuff
Posted Sunday, 21 October 2012 See my other reviews
Michael
says
Great Movie :)
Posted Wednesday, 17 October 2012 See my other reviews
Alex
says
It's a movie based on a board game. Leave your brain at the door and enjoy the explosions. Credit to the producers thought for actually coming up with a way to have the characters actually call out things like "F11', or 'C3' while trying to sink the opponents ships.
Posted Saturday, 6 October 2012 See my other reviews
My Husband enjoyed this movie,
Posted Thursday, 4 October 2012 See my other reviews
Jojo
says
I loved this...great action, no brainer or much thinking involved fillm. I use to play Battleship a lot as a kid (both the electronic and non electronic version) so I thought it was really cool seeing the 'grid' in the movie - before sending off the missiles. Very well done and well worth a watch.
Posted Saturday, 29 September 2012 See my other reviews
Rocky
says
What a great down to earth Si Fi Fantastic visual effects they really got their moneys worth and a fairly good story line I have given it 5 stars
Posted Thursday, 27 September 2012 See my other reviews
glyn
says
I liked it, well done to the makers..
Posted Thursday, 27 September 2012 See my other reviews
maureen
says
loved it
Posted Thursday, 27 September 2012 See my other reviews
ALL actors had no 'fear expressions!
Posted Wednesday, 26 September 2012 See my other reviews
Stanarosa
says
The first part was boring. Got better as the movie went along.
Posted Saturday, 22 September 2012 See my other reviews
darthdorian
says
This movie had bad hype before it was released. Better than what i expected. Good movie.
Posted Tuesday, 18 September 2012 See my other reviews
Lee
says
We enjoyed this movie, great special effects (if you're one of those people who want movies that are believable don't watch this - it's out there!). Creative use of an old icon too :)
Posted Monday, 17 September 2012 See my other reviews
Taro
says
Quite a typical action kind of movie, but worth watching :)
Posted Thursday, 13 September 2012 See my other reviews
Tara
says
epic action , was totally entertained from start to finish.
Posted Wednesday, 12 September 2012 See my other reviews
vivian
says
movie is probably really good. The dvd was not in good condition. The movie jumped back and forth all the time. I tried to put dvd in 2 different players. No good. Very disappointed .
Posted Friday, 7 September 2012 See my other reviews
a
says
i was surprised at how much i actually enjoyed this movie. i think it has a little something for everyone.
Posted Thursday, 6 September 2012 See my other reviews
pm
says
great
Posted Thursday, 6 September 2012 See my other reviews
ScorpioJoy
says
That was the dumbest, worst acted movie I have ever watched. However, my US Navy ret. husband and my two 16 yr old grandsons loved it! Of course, they both want to join the Australian Navy.
Posted Sunday, 2 September 2012 See my other reviews
Not much sense here. Could have been soooo much better. It is surely amazing how 1 person can get up through the ranks of the navy so fast. Only in America.
Posted Sunday, 2 September 2012 See my other reviews
Matthew B.
says
Woah. And not in a good way. Great cast. Massive budget. Bad storyline with a typical Hollywood set up that tries to replicate the successes of Titanic and Armageddon.
Posted Saturday, 1 September 2012 See my other reviews
Bad characters, mostly bad acting and a bad script. Mix it with expensive Hollywood effects and a repeated script and you have one of the worst if not the worst movie of all time. Boring, uninteresting and the main character is a selfish man who deserved to get wiped out in a gruesome way in this movie...were they trying to make a new kind of hero? I chose one star only to post comment....STARS: ZERO
Posted Friday, 31 August 2012 See my other reviews
Turned it off, what rubbish...Rihanna has no acting ability. I'm sure Liam Neeson is regretting saying yes to this movie..
Posted Friday, 31 August 2012 See my other reviews
toyama cpatrol
says
most peoples wouldn't understand this one, we watched it twice and it still had a feel safe feeling at the end. sort of like earth will treat the humans born out between mars and jupiter when they finally back to earth thinking we are?
Posted Thursday, 30 August 2012 See my other reviews
Margaret
says
Not a movie I would watch again - my husband fell asleep and then left the room so not just a woman thing. Good teenage movie I suspect
Posted Thursday, 30 August 2012 See my other reviews
reall y good fun action some great lines really enjoyable
Posted Monday, 27 August 2012 See my other reviews
GaryH
says
There's not much story here, but the destruction is industrial strength. The aliens themselves are fairly unimaginative, but their hardware is pretty impressive. Think "transformers". Even the exsessive jingoism at the end doesn't detract from the entertainment.
Posted Thursday, 23 August 2012 See my other reviews
joffa
says
this is special, not many original titles coming out of bollywood of late that i can say are worth the watch, they tend to be boring and of the same structure over & over & over again. Tediously boring............. BUT, this is great. About bloody time we had some 'class' come out of there.First there was 'Avatar', then there was '2012', then there was 'Battleship',..................... then there were the rest??
Posted Wednesday, 22 August 2012 See my other reviews
Paul
says
I had low expectations for this since it was based on a board game but it actually turned out to be a pretty decent 'repel the alien invaders' movie. Now they just need to do Monopoly as a movie, where aliens are buying up the real estate around London (smirk!).
Posted Wednesday, 22 August 2012 See my other reviews
HNightroad
says
Decent take on the game, and quite a good "light action" nothing too mentally challenging in the story, think independence day but smaller and without the virus/area 51/roswell/will smith. Decent acting by the lead roles though I think that the main male character was a bit too dumb. Special effects were decent, not mind blowing but decent. A good watch, worth putting within your top 10
Posted Wednesday, 22 August 2012 See my other reviews
David Williams
says
Entertaining action movie,great effects but not "Oscar" material.
Posted Tuesday, 21 August 2012 See my other reviews
LisaL
says
Good movie but as with most action movies these days, a little over the top and unrealistic.
Posted Monday, 20 August 2012 See my other reviews
Good fun, entertaining, but don't expect great acting or strong story line.
Posted Monday, 20 August 2012 See my other reviews
MovieWatcher
says
Totally overboard with the graphics but a bit of fun. Would have been better viewed at the cinema re the special effects. Still a good view.
Posted Sunday, 19 August 2012 See my other reviews
Started slow and a bit predictable. Uncontrolled man, goes for lady, happens to be top dog's daughter, ends up proving himself. Good effects. Battle LA better. My question is, why the hell would they have live ammo on a battleship museum?
Posted Sunday, 19 August 2012 See my other reviews
Cindy K
says
Great CGI effect, but all too predictable. Can't help comparing everything with Transformers all the way through the movie. Better CGI than Transformers but storyline a bit 2 dimensional, I kind of like Transformers better.
Posted Saturday, 18 August 2012 See my other reviews
TRACEY
says
NOT WHATI EXPECTED GREAT SPECIAL EFFECTS ALIT BIT PREDICABLE BUT REASONABLE STORY NOT ONE YOU CAN WATCH OVER AND OVER YET IT IS WORTH WATCHING TAKE A LOOK
Posted Saturday, 18 August 2012 See my other reviews
John
says
I have to agree this was surprisingly good. I never good bored, I had an enjoyable 2 hrs! way better than transformers 3 etc. Taylor Kitsch is great, rihanna is great and the action is fun. 5/5
Posted Friday, 17 August 2012 See my other reviews
Sal
says
Awesome movie packed with action and great effects
Posted Thursday, 16 August 2012 See my other reviews
This is a GOOD pop-corn movie! I'm surprised it wasn't directed by Michael Bay as it definatly looks, and plays out like a Bay film (Transformers, The Island, etc). If you like what you see on the trailer, you wont be dissapointed by the rest of the flick. Big guns, big aliens, big explosions, big budget! I'm sure it wont surprise you that the plot is not all that great, but it is a pop-corn movie at the end of the day. Easily digestable.
Posted Thursday, 16 August 2012 See my other reviews
jtbug
says
A bit of fun. Completely ridiculous though. More CGI than Transformers but more entertaining. If you're a 13-year-old you'll eat it up.
Posted Thursday, 16 August 2012 See my other reviews
Aaron
says
Well worth a look, just check your brain out and sit back and relax.
Posted Wednesday, 15 August 2012 See my other reviews
Paleaeroplane
says
Different kind but Good Movie. Don't know what value Rhianna brought to the screen.
Posted Wednesday, 15 August 2012 See my other reviews
Eran
says
Silly movie....Not worth watching
Posted Tuesday, 14 August 2012 See my other reviews
Johno
says
Sadly what a huge disappointment, the most I can rate this is 2 stars and that's only for the special effects.
Posted Tuesday, 14 August 2012 See my other reviews
Johnson
says
Surprisingly good! Reminds me of Top Gun, with a bit of Pearl Harbour thrown in. The only thing that grated was the constant stream of pop songs as backing music... how much is ACDC getting from royalties still??
Posted Tuesday, 14 August 2012 See my other reviews
Kim
says
This movie will never win an Oscar but it also won't get a Razzie. If you enjoyed Battle LA or Cowboys and Aliens or Starship Troopers then you will enjoy this.
Posted Tuesday, 14 August 2012 See my other reviews
diane
says
really enjoyed this movie awesome rihanna was actually pretty good in it. a must see highly reccomend. loved it.
Posted Monday, 13 August 2012 See my other reviews
KDski
says
loved this movie. if you like sci-fi its a must.
Posted Sunday, 12 August 2012 See my other reviews
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